Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
