It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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