nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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