I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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