Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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