____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
this hospital has no fireball
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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