That's intense
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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