he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
