I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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