At least make sure they are 18
Why
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize