I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize