She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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