the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
