is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
