I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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