think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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