she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
