so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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