eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
