We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
two words...techno handjob
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
