Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
