what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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