so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and i looked up. we had an audience...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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