Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
