Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
