if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
