saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
