People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
