I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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