We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize