That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
