OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
is it fun? or sober?
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