I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
