hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
