Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
