I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
