do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
