Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
