it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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