hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My balls are so social today.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
