I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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