At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
