How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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