I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
