Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
