Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What a dumb baby whore.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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