like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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