The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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