Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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