just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
