dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
