If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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