I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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