But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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