Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
