hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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