No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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