Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
