there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I deserve this hangover.
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