Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
