Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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