Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You pole danced in your parka.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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