So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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