i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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