Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
