Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
