Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
